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SaxtonHale

....with my BARE HANDS.
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My Bio
I am Saxton Hale, the rugged Australian CEO of Mann Co., star of my own comic series and all-around man among men. My favorite pastimes include fighting, drinking and battling with rare and ferocious animals. You can recognize me by my exceptional moustache, rippling muscles, crocodile-tooth lined hat and a patch of chest hair shaped like my home country, Australia.

Remember, "If you aren't 100% satisfied with our product line, you can take it up with me!"



Just a few of my many achievments include:


:bulletblack: Cutting my way out of primate hell.

:bulletblack: Teaching my girl scout troupe, the 'Saxtonettes', a fire safety tip: grizzly bears burn.

:bulletblack: Fighting off a lion while simultaneously having my hair cut.

:bulletblack: Single handedly wiping out the Indonesian berzerker shark (and making it cry).

:bulletblack: Retrieving a stolen puck from a thieving tortoise, despite its thirty minute head start.

:bulletblack: Inventing the ancient and mystical Jarate fighting style after kicking a chair across the room in a frustrated rage. My complete Jarate course includes Saxton Hale Jarate Pills, which triple the size of your kidneys, and Saxton Hale Pain Tonic, which completely masks the feeling of your internal organs shutting down.

:bulletblack: Becoming the wealthiest man in the western hemisphere.

:bulletblack: Firebombing Woodstock from a helicopter.

:bulletblack: Being in no way involved with the explosive death of American Monkeynaut Poopy Joe, and not in fact being anywhere near the launch site at the time.

:bulletblack: Introducing crafting to RED and BLU in an effort to stop the Soldier/Demoman WAR!.

Current Residence: Mann. Co Headquarters
deviantWEAR sizing preference: Short Shorts only
Personal Quote: "...with my BARE HANDS."

Favourite Visual Artist
Mike Oeming
Favourite Games
Team Fortress 2
Tools of the Trade
MY BARE HANDS.
Other Interests
Selling Products and Getting in Fights
I hope you appreciate me gracing you with my presence here, I am a very busy man, you see. In fact right at this very moment, I am beating up five hippies with my bare hands. Those vegetable-eating pansys never give up. Well, neither does Saxton Hale! Anyway, some Canadian dolt by the name of Drick96 (https://www.deviantart.com/drick96) suggested that I make an account here. Why not, it's good advertising. I'll inform you little wankers about any new Mann Co. products that are on the way. Now, if you have something to say, make it snappy! After I'm done with these hippies I have to go see Robin Walker about some...business... ...with my BARE HANDS. One more thing. I hav
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Profile Comments 53

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Oh...  Guten Tag, Herr Hale.
Sexton haaaaaaaaaaale! ((See what i did thur?))
Darken: so your behind Master Scheemic's Capture...
:iconsniperplz::iconsaysplz:Aye, Mate! Can ya´lend me some Australium? We need it for a Big Probléme! Plus précisément, nous en avons besoin pour Scheemic! Errr, I mean, we need it for :iconscheemicplz: . ( I hope that I´ve not been exposed)
Darken: oh you just did *eye glowing blood red* NOW STAY AWAY FROM MY MASTER!!!!
:iconthespyplz::iconsaysplz: What do you want from me, digital Spaghetti? Go back to your Computer, I´ve nothing to do with your Master ANYMORE! That Zalgo-thingy will handle him.